The Struggle of Following Verbal Instructions When You Have ADHD

The words come in fast, but somewhere along the way, the meaning gets lost. Why does this happen?

Following directions means holding onto information, staying focused, and switching between steps. But what if your brain lets go too quickly or jumps ahead before you’re ready? That’s what many people with ADHD face every day. And when instructions are only spoken, it’s even harder.

In this article, you’ll learn why verbal instructions are so challenging—and discover simple, clear strategies that can help.

Why Verbal Instructions Are Challenging with ADHD

Children with ADHD often have a hard time following verbal instructions. Why? The answer lies in how their brains handle memory, attention, and control.

According to a study, children with ADHD performed significantly worse than typically developing children in every version of the instruction-following task. Whether they had to listen and repeat, watch and repeat, or act out the instructions, the ADHD group showed clear impairments.

The effect sizes ranged from moderate to large, with the most significant gap in the spoken-enacted condition.

Working Memory Deficits

So, what’s causing this struggle? A major factor is working memory. According to a study, working memory deficits are a core feature of ADHD. Children with ADHD tend to hold less information in mind and lose it more quickly, which affects their ability to follow multi-step directions.

Imagine remembering a three-step task like "pick up the white eraser, put it in the blue folder, then touch the green folder"—and forgetting halfway through. That's a daily reality for many students with ADHD.

Executive Function Impairments

This difficulty goes deeper than just memory. Following instructions requires higher-level thinking skills like planning, switching between tasks, and staying focused. These executive functions are often disrupted in children with ADHD.

Another study also pointed out that multiple brain systems tied to attention and control may not work as effectively in these children.

Language Processing Difficulties

Verbal instructions rely heavily on language processing. But children with ADHD often have language-based difficulties too. One study found that these kids may struggle with understanding and remembering spoken language.

So, when directions are delivered verbally and need to be recalled the same way, like in the spoken-verbal condition, children with ADHD are at an even greater disadvantage.

Attention Lapses

On top of that, attention lapses make it harder to hold onto information. Studies showed that kids with ADHD often struggle with both switching and sustaining attention. That means they might miss part of the instruction, or drift off before it's finished.

Reddit Discussions: Relatable Scenarios

In a Reddit discussion, according to Apprehensive-Meet800, even when they try to focus during a conversation, their mind freezes. They can hear the words, but nothing sticks. It often takes hearing the same instructions several times or seeing them written out before the task becomes clear. Until then, confusion takes over—and this can lead to feeling ashamed or “stupid,” as they described

This difficulty is deeply frustrating, especially in everyday situations where others expect quick understanding. teeeabee shared that when someone reads important information out loud, it just doesn’t register. But when they read it themselves, it all makes sense. It’s as if their brain hits a block with spoken words. They said they’ve had to explain this to others repeatedly, and it’s exhausting. People often don’t understand how listening can feel so different from reading, even though the information is exactly the same.

That mental block is something just-wanna-vent also described. When someone starts speaking, their brain goes into standby mode—blank, waiting for the sound to stop. For them, the act of listening becomes almost impossible when instructions are spoken. Others echoed this, saying that even if they’re technically “hearing” the words, the meaning slips away before it can settle. riiiiiich explained that their brain just drops the sentence halfway through if their focus slips even a little.

The emotional toll is just as real. iputmytrustinyou said they often hear people talk, but only process half of what’s said. Reading is much easier because they can go over it again and again without anyone judging them. But with spoken instructions, there’s no rewind button. That pressure can lead to anxiety, embarrassment, and isolation—especially when others assume they’re just not trying hard enough.

This challenge isn’t limited to remembering steps. Many users struggle to understand instructions when they’re vague or indirect. saribarii pointed out that if someone says, “I don’t like it when doors are slammed,” they might not realize it’s actually a request to stop slamming doors. Their brain doesn’t read between the lines unless it’s clearly stated. The same goes for instructions like “clean the bathroom.” What does that include? What exactly needs to be done? The lack of clear, step-by-step direction creates instant overwhelm.

Even when the instructions are clear, some people still struggle to hold onto them. Laney20 shared how, in the moment, everything seems fine. But the second they walk away, most of the information disappears. They’ve had to start carrying a notebook just to function at work. Others, like d_crush, said they either need to fully understand why each step matters—or have every little detail spelled out. Without that, things fall apart quickly.

And then there’s the noise. runtodegobah70 explained that in loud environments, like a pizza shop or even near a fan, they can’t understand what people are saying—even if they technically hear them. The background noise wipes out their ability to focus on spoken words, making instructions nearly impossible to follow.

Strategies for Individuals with ADHD: Managing Verbal Instructions

There are simple ways to make things easier. Here are some helpful strategies you can use to better understand and remember what people say:

Ask for Written Instructions

One simple solution is to get instructions in writing. This is recommended because it helps you keep track of what to do. You can look back at the list anytime your mind wanders. It’s a great way to stay on task and not forget what comes next.

For example, if you're given a list of tasks during a team meeting, asking your manager to send a follow-up email summarizing them can be very helpful.

Written instructions also reduce the stress of trying to remember everything. With the steps in front of you, the task becomes more manageable.

For instance, a student receiving verbal homework assignments can ask the teacher to jot them down or take a photo of the whiteboard for reference later.

Break Down Tasks Into Smaller Steps

Long, detailed directions can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller, bite-sized steps. For example, instead of trying to clean your whole room at once, start with just picking up clothes, then move to organizing your desk, and so on.

When tasks are shorter and simpler, it’s easier to focus. You’ll also feel a small sense of success after completing each part, which can motivate you to keep going. A student writing an essay might begin with brainstorming ideas, then outlining, then writing one paragraph at a time, instead of trying to finish it all in one sitting.

Echo the Instructions Out Loud

Another helpful method is repeating directions out loud after hearing them. This is called echoing. Saying the instructions helps your brain lock in the information. It uses both your listening and speaking skills at the same time.

For example, if a teacher says, “Read chapter 4 and answer the questions by Friday,” you might say out loud, “Got it—read chapter 4 and answer the questions by Friday.

Let’s say someone says, “Email the report, then call the client.” You could repeat: “Okay—email the report, then call the client.” That one simple step can improve memory and reduce mistakes. This can be especially useful during fast-paced situations, like receiving instructions in a busy workplace or while preparing for a group project.

Ask Questions for Clarity

If something doesn’t make sense, speak up! Ask for clarification right away instead of guessing. If a direction feels confusing or rushed, don’t be afraid to say, “Can you go over that again?” For example, if a supervisor quickly lists off several tasks in a meeting, you might say, “Sorry, can you repeat the part about the invoice deadline?”

Asking questions is not a weakness. It’s a strength that helps you work smarter and stay on track. A student might raise their hand in class to ask, “Do you mean we’re turning this in before or after the break?”—a quick question that can prevent a big mistake.

Find a Quiet Place to Focus

Noise, movement, and clutter can pull your attention in different directions. Fewer distractions mean a better chance of following through on instructions. For instance, if you're trying to follow steps for assembling something, doing it in a tidy room without a TV on can really help.

If you're in a loud or busy place, try moving to a calm corner, wearing noise-canceling headphones, or turning off notifications. A student in a crowded library might find a study room instead, or someone working from home could silence their phone and close unnecessary browser tabs to stay focused.

Final Words

Simple tasks can become stressful when the information slips away too soon or doesn’t make sense right away. That’s why support matters.

Clear directions, quiet spaces, and tools like written notes can help bridge the gap.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my child forgets even after hearing the steps?

That’s common. Try recording the directions on a phone or putting them on a checklist they can look at.

How do distractions affect kids with ADHD?

Noise, movement, or even their own thoughts can pull their focus. A quiet space helps them stay on task.

Can breaking tasks into steps really help?

Absolutely. Small steps feel less overwhelming and make it easier to stay focused and succeed.

What should I do if they still don’t follow through?

Stay calm. Gently remind them. Give breaks if needed. Patience goes a long way.

How can teachers support kids with ADHD in class?

Teachers can give simple, clear steps, use visuals, check for understanding, and allow short breaks.

Is my child just lazy?

No. Kids with ADHD work hard—but their brain processes things differently. With the right tools, they can thrive.