Why You Keep Losing Your Keys: How ADHD Affects Object Permanence

Misplacing your keys, forgetting appointments, or losing track of things happens to everyone. But if you have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), these moments aren’t just once in a while. They can happen often and get in the way of daily life.

One idea often brought up in this context is “object permanence.” Although this term originally comes from childhood development, it has gained attention for its possible link to ADHD.

This article explores whether difficulties with object permanence might help explain why people with ADHD often misplace items or lose track of things once they’re out of sight.

What is Object Permanence?

Object permanence is the understanding that something continues to exist even when it's out of sight. For example, if you hide a toy under a blanket, a baby who hasn't yet developed object permanence might think it's gone forever. But once this concept is learned, the child knows the toy is simply hidden, not gone.

This idea was introduced by Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget, who suggested that children's cognitive development occurs in four distinct stages:

1. Sensorimotor stage (0-2 years): Babies learn through senses and movement.
2. Pre-operational stage (2-7 years): Children begin to use language and symbols, but they struggle with logic and understanding others’ perspectives.
3. Concrete operational stage (7-11 years): Logical thinking kicks in, but only in relation to concrete, tangible situations.
4. Formal operational stage (12+ years): Abstract and hypothetical thinking develops, allowing children to grasp complex ideas like justice and morality.

Object permanence develops during the sensorimotor stage, particularly between 6 and 12 months. Around 6 months, a baby might search for something that’s only partially hidden, such as a toy peeking out from under a blanket.

By 9 months, they begin to look for completely hidden objects, showing they understand the item still exists even when it’s out of view.

This is also why peek-a-boo becomes so engaging for babies at this age. The surprise of seeing your face again now makes sense to them. However, this growing awareness can also bring on separation anxiety.

As babies begin to understand that people and things still exist when not visible, they may become upset when a parent leaves the room (separation anxiety) or feel uneasy around unfamiliar faces (stranger anxiety). They now know that mom or dad is still out there, but just not with them.

Does ADHD Affect the Development of Object Permanence?

In the context of ADHD, object permanence has taken on a new meaning. It’s used informally to describe how people with ADHD might forget about something, like a task, item, or even a person, if it’s not right in front of them.

However, no research currently supports the idea that ADHD impairs the actual development of object permanence.

Others refer to it as the “out of sight, out of mind” phenomenon. For example, if your keys are in a drawer or behind a closed door, you might completely forget they’re there simply because they are not visible. But again, this isn’t a problem with object permanence.

People with ADHD do understand that objects still exist when they’re out of sight. Their tendency to forget things is better explained by difficulties with memory and focus rather than a lack of understanding that objects persist when unseen.

Why Forgetfulness Happens in ADHD

It’s not object permanence that’s causing you to frequently lose things. Instead, it might be due to one of the reasons below:

1. Inattention

Inattention is one of the three core symptoms of ADHD and is recognized as a distinct subtype known as predominantly inattentive presentation (ADHD-PI). Some studies estimate that ADHD-PI affects between 0.3% and 3.2% of the population.

If you have ADHD-PI, you might:

• Miss small details
• Have trouble staying focused on tasks
• Not follow through on instructions or finish what you started
• Struggle to listen carefully or stay organized
• Avoid tasks that require long focus (like homework)
• Frequently lose things
• Be easily distracted or forget daily activities

These symptoms show up without the hyperactivity and impulsive behavior that people with other ADHD subtypes tend to have.

The symptoms seen in ADHD-PI can directly contribute to the frequent loss of personal items. For instance, you might set down your phone while preoccupied with another thought and then forget where you placed it.

2. Working Memory

Working memory is our brain’s ability to hold and use information for a short time. For example, you might remember a phone number just long enough to dial it, or follow a simple instruction like, “Go to your room, get your shoes, and bring them here.”

Aside from storing information, it also allows us to manipulate and process that information, which is vital for tasks like:

• Solving problems
• Understanding what we read or hear
• Learning new material
• Making decisions based on logic

People with ADHD often struggle with working memory, regardless of the type. However, research suggests that those with ADHD-PI may especially struggle with tasks that involve both remembering and manipulating information.

If your working memory is strong, your brain quickly notes where you’ve put the keys. If not, that memory might not get stored properly. Later, when it’s time to leave, you ask yourself, “Where did I put my keys?” but there's no clear memory to pull from.

3. Context-Dependent Memory

Another possible reason you might lose things often is context-dependent memory. This type of memory helps you remember things better when you're in the same place or situation where you first learned or experienced them.

Researchers believe context-dependent memory is connected to the frontal part of the brain, which is also the largest part affected by ADHD.

In a study, kids completed two different contextual memory tasks:

• Source memory: remembering who or where they got the information from
• Recency memory: remembering when something happened, like which event came first or last

Kids with ADHD did well on basic memory tasks and even performed better on source memory, but they had difficulty recalling the order of events (recency memory).

When we lose something, we often try to retrace our steps mentally. But with ADHD, this internal timeline might feel fuzzy or out of order. You might remember holding your keys, but not when or what you did after.

When we add working memory challenges to the mix, it becomes even harder.

If your brain didn’t register the moment you set something down, or where and when it happened, there’s nothing to recall. So when you ask yourself, “Where did I leave my keys?” your brain genuinely has no answer.

Environmental Triggers That Worsen Object-Tracking Challenges

Some things in your environment can make you lose items even more often if you have ADHD:

1. Cluttered Living Spaces

Studies consistently show that individuals with ADHD often experience impaired executive functioning, which includes:

• Organizing
• Prioritizing
• Following through on tasks

This makes it harder to keep a tidy space, not because they’re lazy or messy by nature, but because the mental steps involved in sorting, storing, and cleaning up can feel overwhelming or confusing.

So, over time, things start to pile up, which then builds into visible messes.

2. Inconsistent Routines

When daily routines vary, it’s harder to develop muscle memory or procedural memory (i.e., doing something without conscious thought). For example, if keys are placed in a different spot each time, recall becomes less reliable.

In a conversation with Dr. Lenard A. Adler, Director of the Adult ADHD Program at NYU Medical Center, he shared that most adults with ADHD talk about trouble paying attention and often admit they forget the small steps in their daily routines.

But this goes beyond just misplacing items.

In a review of how adults with ADHD experience daily life, many described a constant sense of chaos. For some, that meant feeling mentally unsettled. For others, it showed up in cluttered living spaces or constantly shifting schedules. They often had trouble keeping a routine, which led to irregular sleep and eating habits, unfinished chores, and challenges in their social lives.

What often makes it more difficult is the shift into adulthood. As adults, having more freedom and responsibility felt harder to manage than the structured environments they had as children.

3. Stress and Fatigue

High levels of stress and fatigue can make executive functioning even worse. As a result, staying organized becomes more difficult.

One study found that up to 62% of people with ADHD also experience fatigue. Another study showed that people with chronic fatigue are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.

Research also shows a strong link between ADHD symptoms and stress. One study found that inattention was the biggest predictor of stress. Other studies have shown that adults with ADHD often feel more tired than those without it, and they’re more likely to experience burnout and take long-term sick leave.

A large twin study also found that ADHD symptoms were linked to a higher chance of going through stressful life events like:

• Divorce
• Job loss
• Financial struggles

On top of that, adults with ADHD are at high risk for mental health issues. In fact, many meet the criteria for at least one other psychiatric condition.

Simple Strategies to Keep Track of Things

A systematic review explored the self-care strategies adults with ADHD use and need to navigate everyday challenges.

According to participants, these are the strategies that helped most:

1. Helping Yourself

Many participants said living with ADHD was tough and impacted their daily lives. However, learning about ADHD helped them feel more in control. Becoming aware of how ADHD affects them personally made it easier to plan their days, understand their behaviors, and find ways to cope.

To stay on track, participants used strategies like:

• Self-talk or saying things out loud to remind themselves what they need to do
• Following routines and keeping a daily schedule
• Reducing distractions either by moving away from the distracting situation or removing the thing causing the distraction

Planning was also more effective when it was adapted to their own needs. That meant doing certain tasks during the time of day when they felt most focused or setting reminders well ahead of deadlines to avoid last-minute stress.

2. Supportive Relationships

Family members, friends, teachers, and tutors were mentioned as helpful, especially when they provided emotional or academic support.

Some people worked hard to repair strained relationships, especially with family or healthcare professionals. While relationships took effort to maintain, they were also a source of comfort, guidance, and accountability.

Participants also found relief in meeting others with ADHD. Knowing they weren’t alone reduced shame and made it easier to talk about their challenges. Getting diagnosed helped many people make sense of their experiences and feel more understood.

Good experiences with healthcare professionals included:

• Ongoing support
• Help managing medications
• Clear, respectful communication

But some reported negative experiences when doctors lacked understanding or sensitivity to their personal or cultural background. If you ever run into this situation, just know that you are not too difficult, too complex, or too much. If a provider makes you feel that way, the problem is not you. It’s the mismatch in care. You deserve support that sees your full story, not just your symptoms.

3. Tools and Aids for Daily Life

People with ADHD used different tools to manage daily responsibilities. These included:

• Medication
• Phone alarms
• Planners or calendars
• Support from family and friends (for reminders or routines)

Many said phone alarms were especially helpful for staying on time and remembering important things. Some used different alarm sounds or placed their alarm clocks far away to make sure they didn’t ignore them.

While medication helped improve focus and performance, especially in school, some worried about dependency or side effects. Because of this, some chose to explore other methods or combine medication with alternative strategies.

The Bottom Line

In ADHD, losing things frequently is not due to a lack of object permanence, but rather challenges with inattention, working memory, and context-dependent recall. Environmental factors such as clutter, inconsistent routines, stress, and fatigue can make these difficulties even more pronounced.

Building self-awareness and recognizing how ADHD affects memory and organization can help you find systems that work for you, making daily life feel less frustrating and more manageable.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is forgetfulness in ADHD the same as memory loss in conditions like dementia?

No. ADHD-related forgetfulness is due to attention and working memory difficulties, not brain cell damage or progressive decline like in dementia. The causes and patterns are different.

How can I tell the difference between typical forgetfulness and ADHD-related forgetfulness?

ADHD forgetfulness tends to be more frequent, disruptive, and linked to difficulty staying organized, following routines, or completing tasks. If it regularly affects your daily life, it’s worth discussing with a professional.

Are there brain-training exercises that can improve memory in ADHD?

Some cognitive training tools and memory exercises may help with working memory, but results vary. The most effective approaches often include behavioral strategies, medication, and environmental changes.